what is too much?



what does a boy have to do to retrain his mind to forget the good things? Why is it so difficult to forget the amazing times, but instead so easy to forget all of the times I was left crying myself to sleep because of you weren't there? How is it possible that I can so easily remember the times you held me while I cried, but so difficult to remember all about the times you left me there and continued to walk out the door?

Maybe that’s just who I am. Maybe my heart always had it in me to love you and forgive you. Maybe that was the biggest problem at all. when I loved you so much that it was easy to forgive you. It was easy to take you back with every apology and with every time that you said things would be different and you wouldn’t hurt me again. It was easy to love you, with all of my heart.

My heart will always love you. A part of it at least. And maybe that’s the best part. The fact that I have the ability to love, forgive and accept someone for all of their flaws. My heart is full of the ability to love and fight for someone. That’s way more than I could have ever been able to say for you. That’s more than you were ever able to give me in return.

So what if I miss you when I have a bad day? 
So what if I miss you when every single thing in my world is falling apart?
 The ability to miss someone shows that I had the ability to love with every fiber of my being. And that right there is a beautiful blessing in itself.
 That right there, makes every little bit of this okay.
and that makes me able to walk away anytime I want too if you don't cherish it and you take it for granted,... I assure you and don't push me....

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